The Road to Riot Fest: Me Verses The Clown and Giving Up My Man Card For Paramore.

Just as soon as i got over eating chicken feet and meal worms from Riot Fest 2016, I find myself in early August counting down the days until September 15. When you are back to school shopping and moving back on campus within these next few weeks, i’ll be icing my throwing arm and practicing holding in my tears. Welcome to the beginning of my Riot Fest 2017 breakdown.


I’ve never been afraid of clowns, and I don’t hate anyone, but who ever Riot Fest puts in the Dunk Tank this year is Dead. D E D, dead. This is probably my top rivalry right now, me and The Riot Fest Clown. Will it be the same clown this years last year, couldn’t tell ya. What I can tell you is I’ve been knocking squirrels off of power lines with golf balls practicing my aim for this dunk tank. You might be wondering what cause this level of a feud? While this is a family site so i’ll spare the language, but the things that clown said to me were horrific. He really went below the belt with me and dug his nails in. That was right before I sunk his ass in what I can only presume was half piss half water. Right now i’m 1-0, and I plan on repeating.


At the beginning of spring my music plug, my sister, gave me the Paramore update. From the first single, Hard Times, of their current album After Laughter, I declared Paramore was going to be HOTT this summer. Not only was I right, but they exceeded my expectations and booked the suckiest music festival. Now if this was a review of After Laughter, I would tell you how great it is, but it is not. This is about me and my willingness to risk my man card to go nuts for one of my favorite groups. Now Im not saying I will be crying like a 16 year old at a NSYNC concert in 2000. But I may punch a few kids trying to get to the front of the stage. If Hayley decides to break it down and sing something sad, her voice is liable to make me shed a couple tears. Now maybe Joe Buck will emerge from the crowd and take my Man Card, but if that is the price I have to pay well so be it. I’m stoked for Paramore and you should be too.

I Got You,

Sean “Ed Green” Thompson


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