How To Legalize Poaching and End Poaching In One Move.

Okay so we all are outraged about the policy being lifted allowing hunting trophies being allowed back into the states. Incase you missed it, you can basically go kill Lions and Elephants and all the awesome animals in Africa and bring their parts back. No bueno.

For some reason there is a small minority of people who have no heart in their chest and want to hurt animals. And I’m not talking about the guy who hunts Elk to feed his family. I’m talking about these dorks who either think they’re bad asses for shooting an animal from 300 yards away, or dudes who sell animal parts to dudes who can’t get hard. Both, no bueno.

Now most these people have some cash. So it’s always hard to really stop this kind of stuff all the way. You can always pay poachers and smugglers. I️ got the answer though. I️ call it “The Five Spear Rule”.

Now with this rule you even have evened the playing field. Actually it’s not even. Most these guys, like Jimmy John, couldn’t even carry one spear through the savannah, let alone five. But you let them try. These dorks and going to get annihilated. Some will win though, like 2%. If you can take down a full grown lion with nothing but spears, well honestly you are a bad ass and I’m just gonna let you do what you want.. But, if my math is correct, most “hunters” would get destroyed instantly. You think one of the Trump Boys could even fight off a hyena with a spear? Hell no. This way when they try to go get their elephant tusk, the get trampled and it’s one less bad person on the earth. Bueno.

Now realistically we might lose a few good animals. But if we send all the shitty people into the savannah with spears, we might just find a better world at the end of it.

I️ Got You,

Sean Thompson

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