Climate Change Ruined the Only Thing I Remember From Grade School.

The four season are one of the first things you learn in school. We’ve lived our lives knowing what to expect from each month, but now you can flush that all down the toilet because we blew it. Yea we could blame corporations for dumping waste in our water and deforestation, but do you recycle?

I’m not here to place blame, just to bring on the revolution. With it snowing into May, and shorts being worn into October (and I’m not just talking about that jerk who’s “legs don’t get cold”). We need to ditch the old system.

Me, being the nice guy that I am, will break down how I view the seasons now. It’s a similar four Quater system. Except I use the four most important holidays to break it apart.

St. Patrick’s Day Mar 17-Jul 3

Now Saint Paddy’s day is huge. It’s the first time of the year you’re expected to go outside and party. It’s the last heavy beer day before you have to switch to vodka sodas to get your summer bod. It also marks the near end of the convention school year. Very exciting time.

Fourth of July July 4- Oct 30

This is the BBQ season. All your vacation time should be used during this period. Straight shorts and sunscreen. Not many downsides honestly. You even get that small window at the end of the season where every professional sport is in season, or post season. Unless you hate the heat, there aren’t really any draw backs.

Halloween Oct 31- Dec 31

This is the shortest quater. Mostly because it’s the coldest and the one where you tend to spend all your money. The upside is I think it will reduce the nations obesity. Not judging, all I’m saying is the longer we drag out the “holiday months” the more we tend to pack on weight wise. And yes the pagan holiday of Halloween is more important than the “birthday” of Jesus. I don’t want to be exclusive with this.

New Year, New Me Jan 1- Mar 16

Okay this is the self improvement time. You’re resolutions are in full swing, you got a fresh calendar it’s a good time. It’s super cold, but other wise uneventful (except for all the Bowls and Football Play offs).

So join the revolution, or not, it’s your life.

I Got You,

Sean Thompson

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