Let’s Get Real About This Trump Military Parade.

In 1907 Roosevelt sent The Great White Fleet on a two year world tour. It was a vulgar display of power that gave the world a taste of what the US Navy would dish out in the World Wars.

Fast forward more than 100 years, and the US Military has pretty much spanked everyone on the planet. Whether it was the righteous walloping of the Nazis, or the questionable War On Terror, we put a hurting on every corner of the Earth. We know it, they know it, and if you forget, the South will remind you.

So why does the President want to do a North Korean style dog and pony show? Well I would never say it, but maybe because the man is lacking in the pants, or that he’s living vicariously since he didn’t serve? You can decide that. Either way, it is a bananas idea.

Now if you’re a civilian, you would argue how much it would cost the tax payers, and the underwhelming importance. While you may be right, that’s not why we shouldn’t do it.

No judgment, but if you’ve never wore a dress uniform, you have no idea the pain in the ass that it is. The only thing more uncomfortable that getting your uniform straight and on is flying commercial. That’s why most service members, outside of duty/ceremonies, only puts on their uniforms to slide through airport security. Let that give you some perspective.

Now I can only speak on the Navy’s end. So if we go dress whites for the hypothetical parade, we are basically ruining a whole uniform. Whites seem to get instantly dirty as soon as you put them on. If you touch anything, drink, eat, sneeze, speak or breath, they will get dirty. So what would happen if we marched through DC? I mean the streets of “The Swamp” can’t be too clean. And blues, don’t get me started on blues. 13 buttons have to be undone just to take a leak. Not to mention they’re made of straight wool. Wool, in the summer, marching. Forget it.

The need for a parade just isn’t there. We defeat a global evil, yea I’ll shine my shoes and buy a fresh Dixie cup. Until then, our families know what we do, our friends know what we do. And if I need strangers to gas up my ego, I’ll go on Tinder and put up a uniform pic.

I Got You,

Sean Thompson



photo cred: all-hat-no-cattle.blogspot.com

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